Monday, November 19, 2007

some thoughts on overlap...

After the ox gives his message, the food doesn't all pop up right away, it takes time to grow. The people wouldn't understand at first, since it's so *much* food that it's out of their range of experience. Then they'd celebrate. The ox would be proud that he's made the people so happy, and be watching them. The tail, meanwhile, knows the message is wrong and is frantically trying to get the ox's attention, finally hitting him on the back of the head.

(The food is still growing, or getting lusher, or maybe it grows in stages? Like real plants, only faster? Maybe the green stalks and trees were first, with seeds and fruits growing now.)

Ox looks at tail, with a What was that for? expression on his face. Tail points up to gathering clouds. Ox has an 'uuuuuuuuh-ooooh....' expression on his face, while he frantically tries to remember what his mistake was. People are still happy, food is still growing. Maybe now the fruit is ripening? Nearly ready for eating.

A godly voice rings out. "No no no no no no no no no! Never send an Ox to do a god's job!" The food growth rolls back, leaving the place as barren as before. People are shocked, unbelieving. The god continues to yell at the ox, who's tail grovels on the ground. The ox, meanwhile, is distracted by how sad the people are, he watches them and gets sadder and sadder himself. Perhaps the tail also notices the misery of the people, so the ox and he can be on the same page.

"I wish I could help them." The ox says, to himself. The sky, which was getting darker and darker as the god yelled, suddenly lightens up somewhat.

"You want to help, Ox? Are you sure? It wouldn't be easy."

"Oh, I do."

Then he gets his magical yoke, and lands in the field. He's still sad, since he thought that he'd find his place in the stars through this mission, and now he's lost that forever.

He meets the priest, who walks with him as the ox continues to plow. It isn't until the priest tells the ox that he's the best celestial animal that's ever come to visit them that the ox stops working, and looks at the priest, who then gives him his stars.

Wow, that was long. I was trying to think how our plot points could run into each other, but still be distinct enough for people to see them happening. I don't know if I got that balance right, but I think an easy overlap would be to have the food take much longer to grow in. If the food's almost ready to be eaten when the god hits the celestial RESET button, the people's reaction would be even more extreme, and maybe comic.

1 comment:

Jason Gerardus Teeuwissen said...

thats awesome! i think that would totally work