Notes from Thumbnail presentation

We can discuss this stuff on Monday at our meeting with DQ if you guys want to read these over and see what you think.

On Monday we can also flesh out some parts we think are missing, or change whatever we need to - and then we will divide it up so everyone has a min. of 9 panels to clean up to hand in on Friday to Natalie.

Awesome job on Friday Guys!
Stace
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Week 8, Friday, In-class Thumbnail Presentation:

Presented by: Kamal Hakim & Mark Sperber
Note takers: Rachel Chalk & Stacey Chomiak

Comments from class after presentation:

> Really liked the changes/additions to the story; it works better
> More clear with the additions we made
> Terri - Some of the shot connections are a bit confusing, ie there is the tree in the beginning and then later a different temple building that the ox shows up in
- our response: We came up with the tree very recently and some of the thumbs were older reflecting our previous locations so they don’t match up exactly that way right now. We will be fixing that in the next pass.
> Yuriy - I still think it would be funny if the other animals constellations made up the Ox’s constellation at the end - you could make the other stars duller than the ox’s so his stood out - even if you used it during the credits, like you would hear the monkey saying HEY that’s my tail, and the rabbit saying HEY that’s my foot, etc.
- our response: Yeah we did address that but we are afraid it might clutter the screen and might get confusing to communicate. We can look at something like that though for the credits, there could be some gags in there and also the other animals could get their comeuppance that way for making fun of him.
> Anne-Marie - You should have the animals laughing at him again near the end when he is plowing, showing that he feels sad and is still humiliated; that would make him feel worse and then the people would see that he is not only working for them but also he is being made fun of.
- our response: That might be good to show the animals again from the beginning to show he is still humiliated, not just punished.
> Yuriy - I’m not sure, do you need to show the tree at the beginning - and is the fruit kind of confusing? Do you need that for a sacrifice to show they are hungry?
- our response: We need to show the tree so the audience has a sense of the people’s back story and how they got to be in that state. We also need that last piece of fruit to not only show how starving they are, but also the priest-guy has to sacrifice that to the gods in “faith” that they will be provided with more food - that way when the Ox comes down from heaven it will make perfect sense that they think HE is the food. But then he has a message to deliver instead.
> Anne-Marie - I think you need to show the people ganging up on the priest when he or before he sacrifices that last piece of fruit, like you idiot! They don’t have faith like him and they are starving.
- our response: Yeah we could show the people at least reacting to that because they are desperate due to starvation.

Other comments from Natalie:
- I really like the changes overall, but I still think the ending is a bit flat - having only the priest and the Ox at the end. The people should also be involved in pointing out his constellation because they have seen him plow and are grateful for what he is doing for them
- our response: We thought it would make more sense to have the priest point out the star rather than some random villager since the priest is a wise man and knows about all the constellations, it would bring things a bit more full circle.
- Okay I agree with the priest idea but again, I think it would be more full if some of the people added - what if some of the people even stole some of the stars from other animals to make up the Ox’s star? They know where the other animals constellations are and don’t mind stealing from them to make the Ox’s new constellation.
- our response: We originally thought that only the priest would point it out because the people don’t care. They have their food and they don’t notice the Ox. But that is a good idea - then the people would be GIVING him something back as a collective people - they would themselves be establishing the new Ox constellation and it wouldn’t be like a secret between the priest and the Ox. The power of the people together would then make it that way from now on and it would actually be established then. Do we actually want him to get a real constellation, or just THINK he does and have a fake one at the end? We have to decide that. If the people gave him one, he would get it, but he wouldn’t be getting it from the higher God, but from the people which is different than what he wanted at the beginning, but the same end result.
- when the transition from the message being given to the punishment - it should be more obvious that there is SO much food, there is an abundance everywhere, and there is so much that they need the Ox to help them gather it all up, then it becomes more obvious that they need him to start plowing.
- But I do think the sacrificing of the fruit helps a lot, it visually tells a better story and brings things together a lot more.
- how much time has passed between when the Ox has started plowing the fields to when he gets his constellation? I don’t get a sense of how much time has passed... is it immediate? Or does he plow for a few days? If more time has passed then it would allow the people to notice the Ox and how much work he does, not JUST the priest. The people would have time to be gratified, they wouldn’t be food-focused for days straight.... would they?
> Yuriy - if he was more upset at the punishment and while plowing, the people would see that too and they would then have time to feel bad for him as well.
- I just see in my head that the people move together like one mass, like a cartoony shape all together, back and forth.
> Terri - I know we asked this in the last pitch, but what happens to the tail at the end?
- our response: There’s a reconcilliation between the tail and the Ox, they are still separate characters but the tail feels the same as the Ox
> Natalie - Yeah then the tail just busies himself with swatting away flies because he has nothing else to do
> Natalie - How are you going to pantomime the tail pointing up to the sky at the beginning? When the Ox hears the message from the higher God and the tail is saying to him - Hey, do this message and then you can get your constellation! How will you act that out with the tail?
- our response: I think we can just have the tail tap on the Ox, and then point at one of the other animal constellations, and then emphatically back at the Ox, like HEY that could be you! Then points back to where the voice came from, like, Say yes! Do this!